2006 Voters Guide
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Listen to the thunder, hear the Governor roar; Mike the Mover’s loose again, and knocking at the door! Load up the cannon, call out the law, ’cause it’s the biggest calamity folks have ever saw. Girls run and hide, brave men shiver, every time they think they hear the name of Mike the Mover. Courtesy of Disney Productions 1958. A message to King George of Texas: Subject = Iraq. A wise man would surely recognize that an oasis exists beyond the sand storm. You continue to fight the sand storm with nothing more than a leaf blower. You’re lucky the Presidency doesn’t require an IQ test. Put Saddam Hussein back in power and let the Iraqi army patrol their own borders. Soon the pipeline will be spilling riches to the ports and onto the open market. Pull your troops back into Kuwait, and turn-off your leaf blower. A message to the Royal British Crown: Subject = Queen of Pigs. In 1859, a war was averted between the United States and Great Britain over the killing of a pig on the San Juan Islands. It seems you blokes didn’t learn anything from that altercation. One of your subjects, Victoria, Canada continues to pour untreated waste-water into the Straits of Juan de Fuca. Perhaps a United Nations resolution is needed to make those pigs clean-up their mess, or maybe another war! A message to Senator Ted Stevens-R, Alaska: Subject = Joker Run Wild. Stop picking on girls! Here’s the proposal: You and Mover go three rounds of fisticuffs at Key Arena. The winner takes the purse. Truth be known, most Washingtonians think you’re a bully, and really a 500 lb. sissy. A message to Jenny Markum: Subject = Amber Alert. A former Edmonds, Washington resident. Not seen since 1996. Call campaign headquarters ASAP (206)546.9545). |
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